Not So Talkative

There was an article in the AJC the other day regarding what Black parents are teaching their sons when they talk about the 2 month old murder of Treyvon Martin by George Zimmerman. That George Zimmerman caused his death is not an issue. He admitted it. (He claims self-defense). So there has been ‘media’ uproar. The president made a statement. The Parents deserve justice. George Zimmerman deserves justice. Anyway, I digress. the point I wanted to make is that the article in the AJC talked about what Black parents tell their sons. I would like to see another article that talks about what white parents tell their sons about becoming George Zimmerman, rather how not to become George Zimmerman.
1. Even if one black person stole your stuff, you do not have permission to assume that all black people will steal your stuff.
2. If you see a suspicious black person and you call the cops and the cops say stay in the car till they arrive, STAY IN THE CAR!
3. It is possible that you don’t know all the black people that live in your neighborhood so maybe err on the side of caution and put the gun away.
4. If you talk like a racist, don’t be surprised when people think you are a racist.
5. Don’t be a racist.
6. Don’t abuse the unearned priviledge of being white.
7. NO, “Rappers do it” is not a good excuse.

Don’t know how it happens that I get this way. Unable to keep myself awake. Unable to concentrate more than a half hour at a time. Almost like giving up. But giving up on what? Work? Thinking? Probably thinking. I notice that my mind is going in circles right before I insist on going to sleep. The problem is that I am trying to be on time to work so I don’t really want to take a 3 hour nap when I get home because it means that I will be awake after midnight but so anxious about getting to sleep so that I can wake up on time that I can’t sleep or concentrate on doing something else, like reading or working on website or anything besides cruising through the tv guide.
I admit that after a nap, I do feel better though. and can concentrate as long as I am not worried about being able to sleep. So tonight I think I’ll just go take a nap. then if when I wake up I feel better I will work on the website. if I still feel sleepy, I ‘ll just go on back to sleep.

Each of us tell stories and where they intersect is where reality lives. One great truth combines it all. It is until it isn’t or It isn’t until it is. The transformation within the equation is where we live our lives. How what when or where doesn’t matter for the most part. It is, until it isn’t; I am, until I am not.

Even more, I did not believe this, until I did. See? There it is again. A one to one relationship that surrounds me. A revelation that has freed my mind from the slavery of what ifs. I can decrease the gap in any decision making process by applying the function to increasingly smaller suppositions. Bringing any prediction closer to now and immediate, I can live my life as far into the future as I desire.

I am in a whirlwind and getting only the smallest of things done. for instance I now have clean underwear. Small victories.

I am not sure where there is. I do know where here is. Here has gotten a bit rote and routine. Here is a giant hamster wheel and I hate running. But I don’t know what my there is. I am formulating an exit plan that has me learning to repair motorcycles, and opening a repair shop and a cafe/club. But I also want to advance beyond where I am tech wise but I don’t know what road to take to get there or even what the roads look like. I mean right now I feel like I’m sitting in the middle of goo lagoon with patrick and sponge bob waiting for a response from the Magic Conch.

Since 2002 I’ve been fascinated with the technology that creates a blog. I haven’t been very consistent with actually creating the content that goes with a blog but the backend fascinates me. I think it’s really a resurgence of an interest in programming and the language required to make the system work that fascinates me.

In high school the one computer class that I was allowed (the other classes were for AP students, one of which I was not) was BASIC and I l-o-v-e-d it. One of our projects was to make a game. It consisted mostly of if/then loops and print commands but oh it felt like real magic to tell a computer to do something and have it do it. I loved it and still do. Sporatically, over the course of years after high school I was able to finagle my way into access to a computer. Now that my major work is with computers I have access to them anytime, all the time. Outside of my work time, i’m fascinated with blog/web software technology.

Blosxom was my first. Required a lot of hands on to publish. I liked the control and the interaction; again, my content was less important. I was never a fan of the other premade blogs like livejournal, blogger, etc. Mostly because I was not as interested in putting my content out there as I was in controlling how the content is managed, and how it looks. After Blosxom, was Textpattern which I thought was even more beautiful than Bloxsom and I thought Blosxom was gorgeous! After textpattern was WordPress-which at the time that I was introduced, was less popular than Movable Type but was beginning to do the same things. WordPress was also open source so I didn’t have to sink in any money for essentially something to play with. Every evolution was usually the result of my trying to do something that I couldn’t figure out how to do and reading over and over again how a different software did exactly what I wanted. So I would jump to the next thing which is where I started this short story made long.

I’m on Drupal now. And actually responsible for making it work for someone else’s content. So i’m digging deep and I couldn’t be happier.