I’m currently adrift. Don’t know how to negotiate it except by acknowledging that I am adrift. I think this makes me a complainer. Although “complainer” makes it seem like I think there is someone other than myself responsible for my state. I’m mostly complaining to myself about myself. I think I’m doing what I can to change my current state. It just feels like nothing is working.
I think I am frustrated by my inability to make an impression and I do blame that on my interviewers while still trying to find a way to improve myself so that I can demonstrate that I can do the job.
I do complain that their questions don’t prove what they want it to prove; part truth, part sour grapes even when I get the job. This current position does a third of what it appeared to require from the job description and interview questions.
I want to stomp my foot and cry “not fair”. I am aware that such a cry has never (well once) done me any good.
Currently, I am simply convinced that I suck and will suck until I get a stable job. And even then, I’ll probably still suck.