sitting in the airport

missed my flight. I can never seem to sleep before a flight except for the 2 hours leading up to 1 hour past the time I’m supposed to be getting ready to leave. I get up late; my bags aren’t packed and there are at least 5 chores that I absolutely cannot leave unless I have done. So I missed my flight. I spend all night worrying about missing my flight and then once it’s clear that I have no more power over the passage of time whether I worry about it or not, I relax and let go. I’ll either miss it or I won’t. Today, I missed my flight.

I have taken lots of flights now so I make more than I miss by a lot.  Every night before is the same. I try to sleep. I try to sleep early but can’t. I try to wear myself out even if it means I get to bed a little later. Anything to get to sleep. It usually doesn’t happen. So…I’m on standby because I missed my flight.