what do you see when they don’t know or care that you’re looking?

The gaze. It’s all about he gaze. Movies are. who’s looking. who you want to see. it’s never me. I assume, presume; it’s no one like me. but I am looking. Looking for myself sometimes. looking to be some one new who will be counted when they check to see who is looking. but that’s impossible from the bits and pieces that I cobble together. no one is looking for her. no one would even know what they see; except me. looking to create a version of myself that I like who is not who they see or who they show but who is acceptable to me as I am, as I gaze, as I show who I am to those I want to see.

Is that what they do? James Cameron, Stephen Sondheim? Is that what they do when they do their movies? they what to show you what they see and they only see what they want and they only want to show people like them, regardless of who it is that might be looking?

I don’t know. I want to write. I want to make movies where I see me in the ways that I want to see me; as a witch, as a hero, as villain so blue, you remember her; want to be her in spite of yourself.  and more, and everything.