There are some people who like to think that they are nice. They have a million little pass phrases to cover up the million little jabs they make to help themselves feel better when they imagine that they have made you feel just a little bit of their pain. Unintentional, of course.
Self effacing and overly modest, you’re golden until they imagine that you have done them harm. With them, passive/aggressive is an art form practiced daily, hourly even.
nothing prompts me to put up a wall faster than this type of meanness.